Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Trigger ... or life?

It is well known that when someone experiences trauma, they can be snapped back to that place of pain when "triggered" by something of similar nature that happens today.

I have been having some very rough days. Days turned into weeks. I thought perhaps it was because I was spending time working on this blog - thinking about abuse, researching it and writing about it. I decided perhaps I was aggravating my own healing journey by working on this, so I backed off.

In the time since I last posted here, much thought, discussion and prayer has gone into the issue. Is the blog a trigger for me? Possibly.

Could my recent difficulties have been due to something else? Possibly. From a combination of things? Definitely.

There are no hard and fast answers. The truth lies with Jesus. The Truth IS Jesus. Going to Him in times of need is automatic for me. I ask His Holy Spirit for discernment, which at times seems elusive, especially in times of darkness. I depend on many sources to help me in this process of move through the fog to find the answers, namely the wise counsel of a few key people.

A headline about abuse does not always bring on depression, sadness, pain, or angst. Sometimes it does. But I really do not believe that simply working on the blog is the cause for such a thing, so I've decided to get back to work on it.

One thing I have learned is that I have to pay careful attention and take care of myself. Garbage in, garbage out. I cannot listen to the hateful, broad generalizations against an allegedly evil church. It is sickening to hear people blindly defend a priest, a bishop or another person involved in a situation. An empassioned absoluteness and unwillingness to hear the other side are huge red flags. And guess what? There is a lot of that going on.

I don't know what the answer is. Well, I do... it is Jesus. But I don't know how people who have been so hurt can receive what He extends. Is it possible? (All things are possible to those who love the Lord...) When someone feels betrayed by God, can they ever trust in Him again? I think it takes a tremendous amount of grace from God, and a willingness to receive it. But, wow.

Pray for these people, and if that is you, know that you are receiving prayers. If you find that offensive because you find God offensive, well, I'm sorry.

Our hope is in the name of the Lord who made heaven and earth.

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